Dinner…finally

12/2

Although I’ve been living in this apartment for a long time, and I am certainly familiar with the kitchen and how the stove works… I can’t remember the last time I cooked dinner here.  It was probably an egg sandwich night, maybe with a side of pudding or something.  But tonight was different.  I was bored out of my mind, and Vikram was down to go to Wilson Farms to search for flat bread pizza supplies.  When bored, one of the easiest things you can do to relieve that boredom is to buy things.  So I got ranch dressing, pita bread, raspberry iced tea and lettuce.  Vikram got the sauce and the cheese.  When we got back to the apartment, Vikram focused on making the pizzas (the pita bread had little holes in them, which was great for soaking up the sauce), and I made a soup (forgot that) and prepared some salad.  aka lettuce in a zebra bowl.  Vikram discovered that he should have gotten pizza sauce, because this pasta sauce was too watery.  He tried to turn the temperature up, to evaporate the excess liquid.  I thought they turned out really well.  We talked a little about Tiger Woods, and I said some things that I think he thought were stupid…  thinking about celebrity life is kind of interesting, really famous people really can’t have normal lives, and i think their families suffer, almost always.  Tiger Woods is all the more recognizable because he is a black golfer, not because he is by far the best golfer in the world (that’s my opinion).

Marnie

12/1

There’s been a special Hitchcock series at Cornell Cinema this semester, and I’ve gone to see 39 Steps, Rope and now… Marnie.  Rosoff and I arrived at WSH with perfect timing and secured tickets, then made our way over to the popcorn stand…  Rosoff asked the poor girl for the largest box of popcorn they sold, and I attempted to purchase Twizzlers.  Rosoff would have none of it, though, and we got chocolate m&m’s instead.  the girl had an incredibly cute laugh, as I explained to her that Rosoff was a popcorn fiend, and that he had gotten an 8 dollar bucket, once, all for himself.  I tried to get Rosoff to ask her to formal, but he wouldn’t bite.

Marnie follows a girl of that name as she robs various firms that she works for.  She sends some money home to her mother, who forsakes her.  Marnie (Tippi Hedren) has psychological problems, such as her fear of lightning storms and her aversion to the color red.  She’s like a vicious, cornered animal, and when Mark (Sean Connery) tries to tame her, Marnie goes even more crazy.  Lil (Diane Baker) is also a bit of an enigma – she’s in love with her brother, and wants to set up Marnie’s demise, but she tries to help Marnie near the end of the movie.  The whole thing is quite turbulent, but the movie’s plot is just so smooth.  There is some ridiculous dialogue that Matt said probably rang anti-feminist and the special effects are just plain cheesy in this day and age, but I love its old school feel.  Definitely a memorable night.

also, Flo gave me a call and I immediately walked from central to her place, and napped.  now that is awesome. had my last prelim today, in dsoc.  now it’s time to throw away those notes.

cycling in the snow

11/30

Today, at about 4pm, I was cycling from the mall to cornell campus.  i just had on my silver rain hoodie and a red sox cap.  no scarf or gloves.  it was about 35 and when i peaked the little triphammer/13 intersection that’s not an actual intersection, i noticed snow blowing in front of me.  a little bit stuck to my cords and i had to alternate hands when cycling (sometimes no hands) because it was so freaking cold with the wind.  the wind physically pushed me to the left once, pretty cool. anyways, it reminded me of copenhagen, when I bicycled no matter the weather.

it was a little safer in cph because there weren’t many turns and it was all flat.  but then again, there were a lot of stops for the traffic, and a lot of people around me.  somehow, i never fell.  i do remember aaron crashing and lucy ramming into the back of some poor man’s bicycle, but i always stayed upright.  once, i gashed myself in the ankle with the gear teeth though.

more important than all of that, today i experienced a little bit of the transendence that became oh so common to me in copenhagen.  the feeling of being light and powerful, of truly enjoying life and what goes around you, while being completely focused on yourself, your bike, and possibly a romantic interest.  i had that transendence when i was tripping with sophie and ben too, when ben went to play soccer and i went on an intrepid loop around the block on my bike.  that’s when i decided ‘this is what im good at.’  

other notes: finished my peace corps app today, flo and i became official, it was sophie’s birthday and i had lunch with her and pete

 

Comics for Collectors

This is the first installment of an effort to record something interesting that I see or do, or that happens to me, every day.  

11/29

At around 3 p.m. today, I walked downtown, down Buffalo street, which the intention of finding Sophie’s 20th birthday present(s).  For the record, I got her:

Rock Springs by Richard Ford, because if she’s going to go west, she might as well read about it.  Plus, it might be a good introduction to short stories.

A librarian action figure with bonus books and trading card.

OK, so the first store I stopped in was Comics for Collectors.  I thought that getting her a graphic novel would be cool, because she likes art and dark things, and those books almost always have interesting covers.  After I began perusing the shelves, I noticed that the Comics for Collectors’ owner, who has been around at least since I was 10 (11 years ago), was being filmed up close, with one of those intense legit camera.  The ones that look like bazookas, and which I would guess weigh 30 pounds.  The CfC guy was holding a big stack of thin comic books, which looked used.  Walking to the back of the store, I hoped that I hadn’t intruded on the film making, but then second guessed myself– it was probably a documentary, and real people coming and going in the background is generally a good thing for video journalism.  At the back of the store, a blonde beauty was zipping up a few large black bags, clearly holding filming equipment.  I asked her what was up, and she said that they were broadcast journalism students at Syracuse, then gave me a smile and left.  It turns out that the two-person film crew was just about done, so I asked the CfC guy what was up.  He said that this has happened to him many times before, and added that the two filmers were kind of naive, that they had been there for an hour, getting way more footage than they could possibly use.  I dunno if I agree with that.  Better more than less right?  And now they get some practice editing…  Anyways, the man was wearing a cap with a Green Lantern symbol on it, which I thought was kind of cool.

Objective Correlative

T.S. Eliot

from ‘Hamlet and His Problems’
The only way of expressing emotion in the form of art is by finding an “objective correlative”; in other words, a set of objects, a situation, a chain of events which shall be the formula of that particular emotion; such that when the external facts, which must terminate in sensory experience, are given, the emotion is immediately evoked.

The Camry

1997: —- miles

drove cross-country in fifth grade

drove down to florida to go to disney world, and also a family reunion in key west

drove down to tennessee for bonnaroo.  since we didn’t have a real tent, some of us needed to sleep in it.  when sophie was sick she slept in the front seat and i slept in the driver’s seat.

sophie and i poured honey from a mcdonalds into the back (foldable) armrest on the way to Boston when we were younger

drove it 120 mph on route 13 and swung around a truck, with nathan, jack and rob in tow

pulled out of roat st. (where Nathan lives) really fast and Nathan said ‘whoa’

pulled out of chris’ driveway when without looking i guess, and had to accelerate like hell before becoming lunch meat

forgot to roll up the windows at jimmy’s house, and when i hopped in the seat was soaked.  i sat on some stuff.  there was also a loud siren noise that played unless the turn signal or the caution lights were blinking, so thats how i drove back

when i was dating kristen, i needed to get back to ithaca (from boston) in time to watch RENT.  i don’t even remember why it was so integral to see it that night.  maybe i just hadn’t seen kristen in a long time.  wow, i was in love with her then.  anyways, i drove the entire way (first time I ever did that) in an intense snowstorm.  stopped once quickly for gas.  we didn’t make it in time, but after dropping mom, dad and sophie off, i still wanted to see kristen.  mom and dad didn’t let me drive, so i started to walk.  as i rounded the parkway, i called kristen, and she said i shouldn’t come.  i remember being really sad about that.

i remember driving kristen home, one sunny spring day junior year.  she said she wanted to empty her locker and bring all of it her house.  we stopped by subway so she could talk to her manager.  in the subway parking lot, we ran to the car because it had randomly started pouring.  we sat in the car for a long time, and there just so happened to be a mana tape in, so we listened to that.  that may have been the first time i looked into kristen’s eyes, and she stared back.  i remember rubbing her shoulder.  the camry helped me out because I didn’t know how to defog the windshield well, so we couldn’t drive for a while.  later, i dropped her off at her house and gave her a hug.  soon, we started dating.  we all know how beautiful she was.

countless times, mom, dad, sophie and i drove to boston and back to see nana and papa.  late nights, sleeping on the arm rest, waking up during tolls, listening to bob dylan, mana and peter, paul and mary, stopping at the rest stop with mcdonalds and things

drove the car wildly on east remington before they redid it, and somehow the brakes froze up and we almost slid into the ditch

picked up mike and ben, and went to go meet pot dealers in sketchy places, such as the cayuga heights parking lot late at night.

the first two drives i remember are: driving it from the dmv after passing the test in the highlander.  drove it to the school and parked in the parking lot and then went to class. the second time was during AP bio, when mrs. ridenour let us go for the second period (might have been after the APs), right when i was starting to like kristen.  drove kristen and chris to hollywood video and purchased ‘the lost skeleton of cadavra.’ 

on the way to tennessee, we were looking for a random place to crash, and we drove it around in circles in some random town in virginia that i can’t remember the name of right now.  we were going to sleep in what we thought was a park, and i actually turned the car off, but the others were a little sketched out.  we found out that the park was actually someone’s yard. 

drove with terry to the jersey shore.  stopped at mike’s and when we went out to get ping pong balls, i scared them half to death with some ‘reckless’ driving.  that way, and the way back, was the reason terry started to like me.

drove to boston with meghan and eric.  drove around trying to find meghan in the middle of boston while it was pouring outside, found the chinese restaraunt.  also drove to boston for the boston marathon with dave and dan.  also drove to the jersey shore for the marathon of new jersey. 

ran to the car many times during freshman year, sometimes in the snow, to drive to wegmans with dan, eric and mike.

k, that’s all for now.  she sits in the driveway until december.

Going with the Flo

So, my interactions with Flo have been some of the most interesting times of my recent life.  It would take many many words to chronicle our relationship, even though we met only a year ago, at a work shift in helen newman, 9-11:30.  Since then, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions, battling my own instincts and then riding them out, literally, to California.  I studied abroad in Copenhagen and we became closer, talking on videochat.  (She is going abroad next semester, to Chile).  I recently bought a webcam, because I think that chatting with her online is integral to our relationship.  Lately, our relationship has become all the more intense.  Last night, we were lying down in her bed at about 3:30 am, after having read some of Oryx and Crake, and having finished up some PAM homework.  She was facing the wall, and she brought my hand close to her chest, pulling me into her.  After a while, I moved my hand to her shoulder, and rubbed it lightly.  I felt something move in my chest.  I said, “Flo?” and she said “what.”  I did that a few more times, maybe four. I stuttered a little, what was I doing?  I was doing what I wanted, deep down.  Even if I couldn’t comprehend it, I knew I was acting naturally.  I said, “Flo, I love you.”  I could see her grinning, I think she expected it a little.  Her pearly whites lit me up for a few long seconds, and she turned to face me.  She said things like “I’m so happy I met you,” and “If we had had that talk now, I think things might be different.  But they aren’t.”  and lastly “That is all to say, I love you too.”  Apparently, she was anxious not only because of all her work, and her parents, but because she was also puzzling over me.  I am sad to release all that wonderful tension, but I am also glad that I relieved her, de-stressed her.  

We woke up at 8:30 and fooled around until 8:45, 5 minutes after her first class started.  We walked fast to MVR, where we kissed goodbye.

Tonight was a slightly different story.  I told Margaux that I would hang out with her, and we got some bubble tea and walked down the gorge by moonlight- really beautiful.  I had previously told Flo that she could come visit me if she wanted, after finishing her work.  So, I was hurrying to get back up to my apartment and ditch Margaux, who was trying to get to know me pretty hard.  I was dissapointed to see that I had missed Flo’s phone call.  I called and she called me back, and said that she couldn’t visit, because she had work really early in the morning.  We had a shortish conversation and then we said our goodnights.  It didn’t feel super natural though, and we certainly did not say “I miss you.”  This kind of saddens me a bit, I feel like I let her down and let myself down.  While Margaux and I did absolutely nothing, I didn’t have the courage to tell Flo explicitly that I was getting tea with Margaux, I didn’t see Flo tonight, and the conversations were slightly more stilted than usual.  All this after we confessed our affection for each other– kind of a let down I guess.  Tomorrow is another day though, and I know that once we get together, sparks will fly yet again.  It’s something that’s happened time and time again, surprisingly.  We’re more alike than I thought we were, and we may even care for each other more than I could have thought possible.  

 

It’s been three years since I last said “I love you” to someone.  I’m damn glad that it’s Flo.  No relationship is perfect, and we’ve hit rocks in the past, but true friendships must outlast those things.

the perfect room and then the semester

my perfect room would be, in a couple words, sentimental and eclectic.  It would be sentimental in that if I brought my girlfriend home, I could show her lots of things that explain me, and my past.  For this, I would have two bookshelves filled with books, shoeboxes with remnants of my childhood and teenagerhood, pictures of friends, art that I’ve done and that my friends have done.  It would be eclectic because I think random collections and travelling both run in the family.  Dad is spare, but his book collection is carefully calculated.  Mom takes pages out of her magazine and puts them in binders.  Sophie has jewelry and pictures from all over the place, and even a corner of photos dedicated to ‘the most retarded-looking photos.’  Uncle John and Aunt Susie’s house has a ton of stuff like player piano records, I once found ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’ in the basement.  Nana and Papa have that Joan Miro poster above the TV and in the living room, a collection of random things their grandchildren and children have created.  I think I have my clay t-rex up there.  

Some examples of things that I couldn’t do without: signed Laura Marling shirt, black and white photo collection, ’sunglasses’ from Denmark, round greek heiroglyph thing, my Lemond, my big speakers.

I really want to free up some time next semester, but not sacrifice the wide variety of classes that seems to be my trademark.  I want to write more for the sun, and for more sections.  I want to do some crazy sports, like triathlons, adventure races.  Mountain biking too, and a gym class.  Cultural events like plays, readings and movies are also integral to making it a good senior year.

Thesearetheclassesimthinkingabouttaking:

Verse Writing – McClane

Comparative Politics in Latin America

Nature and Culture

Social Movements

Science and Human Nature

What I have written for the Cornell Daily Sun

I would like to list (to my memory) what I have written for the Cornell Daily Sun.  I want to do this because writing for the Sun has been one of my favorite things at Cornell to date.  I hope to free up even more time next semester for reporting, and furthermore to write a couple guest columns or something, in opinion, or cover a news story…  

Movie Reviews:

Fred Claus, Smart People, The Other Boleyn Girl, Tetro, 9

Concerts:

Donna the Buffalo, They Might be Giants

@ the Johnson:

Marguiles’ Collection: Silent but Not Quiet, Gordon Matta-Clarke (anarchitecture!), Art of the Written Word: Calligraphy in Asia 

Other:

Axis of Equals (@ Risley), Pita Pit, Nice People Dancing to Good Country Music (Schwartz), Effing Awards Shows (rant)

 

For each one, I was a little worried about how to write it.  But once I started writing, things just started coming together.  It just goes to show that you can leap headfirst into something.  Each of the events were so memorable.  I even remember what happened directly after Axis of Equals (ran into Nathan), or how Zach (Elton John) showed me into the Flexible Theater at the Schwartz.

writing 1 – David Foster Wallace

His relationship with Mary Karr was volatile. She inspired a character in the novel—a radio host named Madame Psychosis who ends up in the halfway house. Wallace got a tattoo of a heart with Mary’s name on it. He signed his letters to her “Young Werther.” He proposed to her. They fought. “Someone you get sober with is like someone you were in Vietnam with,” Karr remembers. They split up. One day, according to Karr, he broke her coffee table. She billed him a hundred dollars. He paid her and said that the remains of the table were now his. Karr told him that she’d used them for firewood, and that all he’d bought was “the brokenness.”