It’s been said: ‘this is our last semester!’
Jesus, can it really be that time already? I know I’ve prayed for the last semester to come sometimes, but now that it’s here I might be a little scared… There’ll be people I miss. I know I’ll miss the lifestyle too. Meeting new people every week and trying to engage them in conversation. 5 mile runs at midnight past the equine farm. People are leaving. Eric asked me what he should do for his future today. He got a job! He’ll be staying in the northeast without a doubt. Vikram could probably go to Denver or D.C. Flo will be trying out an adventure every time I talk to her. Dan doesn’t know what he’s doing yet, but he’s such a nice guy– I have confidence. It goes on…
The last few days have been a blur. I’ve played soccer with townies, basketball with frat bros (earning victory) and lifting with dad. sleeping with flo and rubbing her all over. going out to dinner with flo and mom and dad. one thing ive noticed is that my friends and family (besides Sophie, maybe) put on their BEST face when they first meet flo, and the subsequent times… I see this as a compliment to both her and me. Her because she deserves it, and she greets people with an open expression, ready to listen and to share. she has a lot of dreams, and that’s really attractive. me, because i see each one as a favor. people prepare themselves to like flo because they already know i like her. since i talk about her, even ben asks me about flo. now that’s something else.
at 2 am last night, flo and i were talking. i asked her, ‘do you think we’re better as friends, or boyfriend and girlfriend?’ ‘you mean now?’ she asked ‘no, i mean in the future.’ She responded ‘that’s a really good question. you were an incredible friend last spring (this is something like our first year of liking each other, and all i wanted to do was hang out with you. you were so intriguing). i dont know.’
at that moment, I kind of thought that we would be better as friends, and very good at that. but then there’s a mutual physical attraction, and some great sex. then again, there isn’t something quite right, is there? hm. it’s something that exists for a reason, i feel. nonetheless, I made a doctor’s appointment about it. yea…
itll be like lightning when flo leaves. one second she’ll be there, and another she won’t. she might come back for a weekend, i have no idea. she might not have enough time. so next week may be the last week i see her. it kind of breaks my heart, the anticipation of it all. i will be sad. gah, i want to talk to her about it.
